"Reaching Out To The Depressed part 2" Text

I don't know how I got through the depression all those years. I guess I could fake that I was all right. But I never was. I didn't have anyone I could share all the darkness I felt. Sometimes listening to Michael Jackson's music helped me escape for awhile. I would put headphones on and blast the music. I wanted to drown everything out. I just wanted to escape the constant pain. When I started writing, I could temporarily escape into that. I have written several poems during depression. I believe during that time I opened myself up to strongholds that I am still struggling to end. I didn't know it at the time. I would say I thought my heart was broken but I never felt my heart was whole to start with. Maybe it was before the arthritis started when I was 4. I don't remember anything before that. All I remember is the physical pain of my disability. All I remember is the deep emotional pain I felt. I honestly do not know how I made it through. Somehow the Lord got me through even before I knew Him. He got me through even before I believed in Him. Back then, I had no hope. There are still times I get extremely depressed. It is not easy to escape from depression. Many times my only motivation for doing something is to try to honor the Lord. Now, when it gets bad I cry to the Lord. I talk to Him then I lean back and cry for awhile. Sometimes I can escape it through my writing or through watching Batman. Sometimes I just have to cry until the Lord pulls me out of it. There have been so many times I have given up. But the Lord won't let me stay there. He is faithful even when we are not. I am sharing this hoping that it can help someone somehow. It is hard to be deeply depressed. It is hard to have no one to talk to. It is hard to feel surrounded by pain. I know. On top of all that, I had severe physical pain. Somehow I made it through even though I never thought I would. I don't know the pain you are going through but I do understand constant pain. I've been there. I'm still there. Somehow you have to hold on. Escape in safe ways. Cry. But please don't give up. Reach out. It can feel like no one cares and no one will care. But there are people that care. Sometimes we have to wait to find them. Somehow we have to hold on until we find them. Please don't give up. Please don't quit trying. You are important. You do matter. You are meant to be here. Please keep holding on. I pray for the hopeless every day so I can honestly say I am praying for you.